Matthew Byers and Alex Morris, senior editors
All right ladies, gentleman, and those who choose to remain neutral, the score, after much confusion, has finally been compiled. The Editor Competitors and Ballfield A neighbors have at long last figured out how to use their energy county gizmos. Matt Byers has refrigerator, cell phone, laptop, and lamp plugged into his Kil O Watt counter currently with 6.75 kilowatts, and Alex Morris has her laptop, cell phone, lamp, and speakers (all of the electrical appliances she owns) plugged in to hers, and her current total is 3.42 kilowatts. So, midway through the semester, The Echo is proud to award Alex Morris with the Green Queen award. If you see her on campus feel free to pat her on the back, shake her hand, or just take her out for a brew.
Alex says: No need for catty comments from me this week, because actions speak louder than words, and my actions are clearly more sustainable than Mr. Byers. I knew I didn’t even need to use your fridge for beer in the long run. It’s okay Matt, fortunately the college pays our energy bills… Wait, Matt, don’t cry! It’s okay Matt, it’s just a silly little contest Matt – calm down!
Matt says: Tears of laughter, Alex. First, my rebuttal. Do you count your pair of endangered, illegally poached snakes and their heat lamp among your electical appliances? Do you you factor in the fact that each time you play “Electric Feel” in your room loud enough for your neighbors to hear it, you increase you energy output by like, several. Do you factor in the long nights of burning the midnight fossil fuel when I have to do your job for you? And seriously, there’s a misplaced modifier in your little statement. Can you find it? I thought so.
Also, I demand a rematch. This time we should make an explicit rule against totally just making up the numbers because you told me over the phone.