Warren Wilson College News

Game summary — WWC women’s soccer vs. Montreat College

Webster defines a Cavalier as a gentleman trained in arms and horsemanship.

Not since we played that military school in Georgia years ago have we seen women shoot like the mounted Cavaliers shot on us Saturday. The Montreat College girls from the neighboring village of Black Mountain were on fire. If it was basketball, it would have been full court press the entire first half. Each time a WWC girl had the ball, she would be double or triple teamed by two to three large white uniformed girls—they’d loom over the owls, darken their world with the shadow of the enemy and the horses they rode –and it’s scary to play against horses, with the hooves and big horse teeth and everything…so with all that darkness and the smell of a thousand pounds of horse flesh , we’d pass the ball to a team mate and then the dark cloud would sprint to the next person, eventually win the ball, pass it into the corner onto the lightning fast Cavalier (the midfielders had the fastest horses) who’d take a shot from 30 yards out.

Only the first goal was shot from within the box: fifty eight seconds into the game, a Montreat girl shot, our sweeper took it on the chest, but as it bounced off her chest, another cavalier shot so hard at point blank range that it bounced off the chest of our keeper. That’s not even legal in paint ball, if you are at point blank range, you are supposed to offer a surrender first, and then shoot.

All other shots came from way outside of the box as Indian Queen Janarelli, Psycho Kid Thunder (Gaskin), and Dynamo Hum Holzer did their work to keep them outside. The shots just hit upper 90 each time.

Forgot to mention that we played this game under our Australian Wrestling Names—(code is attached : photos will come with next email)

When our defense cleared to Poison Ivy Williams or Pixie Von Schneider (Barron), we’d make attacks on goal: Flash Epstein and Bruno the Giant Shah had good runs, but their heads barely reached under the bellies of the Cavalier Defense.

Pixie Von Barron had a shot that the keeper caught and stepped back into the goal with, but the referees did not see it that way. Princess Little Cloud (Waldron) and Body Slam 92 (Wow Wow Wochowski) took shots as well, but all were denied.

In the second half, the story was very different. Instead of the 7 shots they took on the face of the goal (stopped by our Fabulous Moolah Schonberg) and the 7 that went in, they took two shots on the face, missed the goal area by miles with three shots, and scored 0.

Maybe it was because of the new guys: Velvet Kim on the front line with Lara Love Kriel, and Big Sabrina Amani in the midfield; Bette Bruiser Bangasser, coming off a week long injury, first played as sweeper, then stopper, then center mid, then I think she played some outside mid. Lady X Cruite stepped in as full back and asked me after the game why she had been playing mid—the lady loved defending and crushing on the back line for the Hooter Wrestling Champs.

Delilah Adams and Tasmanian Devil Cohen gave us some great time in the midfield and up top setting up and shooting as many times as enemy did in the second half.

Our next game is in S. Carolina on Wednesday against some Kuala Bears.

If you haven’t taken notes…ending score was a 7-0 in the first half. 0-0 in the second half.      

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